Category Archives: First Person

Helping People Again, Just Because

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Ray in the computer room of Casa Esperanza, 2009.

By Raymond Trower

 

It wasn’t so long ago I found myself in a financial jam through no fault of my own. I was living in a one-room apartment in the small town of Henryetta, Oklahoma. I needed help paying one month of rent, thanks to changes in Medicare regulations, so I called on friends via the Homeless in SB blog.

There were a few who graciously answered my call and I received enough to cover my rent with a little extra for groceries.  I had intended to pay them back when I could, and still do at some point. Truth be known, I have forgotten who sent what, especially after having moved from Henryetta to Tulsa and would appreciate reminders from those of you who helped me out with current contact info. You can email me at: streetvoicedigest@gmail.com.

A few months later, I turned to Facebook to ask for financial assistance–again. This time it was to help Tami (see “Nights With Raven”) come to Oklahoma. She found a ride with a friend who was going to on vacation. All we, Tami and I, had to do was come up with gas money for the trip from Morristown, Tennessee, to Tulsa, Oklahoma, where I now live. It would cost about $350 for gas. The sad part is, I actually lost three Facebook friends over this. Some of the things that were said about me and Tami were extremely hurtful, but such is life.  Out of four hundred Facebook friends, I had one person answer my call and I will be forever grateful to her; plus I will give her a full accounting of her gift.

For the past couple of years, I’ve been searching for a way to help those in need. Yet it seems that I’m always the one who comes up short. I’m the one who needs something. But not anymore, thanks to my sister. A sister, I might add, whom I haven’t talked to in years; a sister I thought I would never have the chance to talk to again; a sister who showed me it was time to put certain things behind us and move forward. A sister to whom I will be eternally grateful. There is more to this story, but I will save it for another time.

Anyway, thanks to my sister, I am now in a position to help others, not by much, but when you have nothing, anything and everything can and does help. I have always had a penchant for helping women, and after witnessing what women living on the streets or facing homelessness go through each and every day while staying at Casa Esperanza homeless shelter, it is even stronger.

My search for a way to help has at times been . Who do I help and how?  And I would hear things like ‘Don’t give money to the homeless, give it to the shelter or other organizations.’ Personally, I never really bought into this philosophy. I know there is a reason behind it, and it’s probably a sound one. But my money is limited, and I am impatient. I like to see results instantly instead of having my dollar trickle down to a few cents by the time it reaches those in need. I know… administration costs, salaries, overhead, utilities, etc. Still, I want my dollar to go directly to those who need it most.

The other day, on Facebook no less, someone posted a quote by Mother Teresa, “Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.”

Reading this quote was like turning on light. I began to think, and in thinking I began to remember all the people I have as friends on Facebook (as well as in other places) who actually practice this. Truthfully, I never realized just how many until I read this quote. I asked myself, “Why can’t I do this?”  I could not think of a reason. Well, at least I couldn’t think of a good reason why.

I have helped people before, and in many different ways, but mostly for personal reasons and not just “because.”

Well my friends, Just Because became effective on October 25th, 2012, and I would like to see it continue. I have financially helped two people in the past few days for no other reason than because. They had a need, they posted their need, and I did what I could. It may not have been the amount they required, or wished for, but you’d be surprised how far a dollar will go when someone doesn’t have a single one.

I know that when I received the dollars sent from those who chose to help me, they became the most precious dollars ever. Also, dollars, even loose change, can add up quickly when more people get involved.

I am not sure if my mission will last, but I hope it will. I already have someone new  on my wish list,  my “Wish To Help List.” She is 28 and pregnant. She goes to technical school and is homeless, sleeping in her pick-up. She’s also in between jobs. I’m not quite sure how she caught my attention, but she did.

I recently came across the following quote. I ‘ve heard versions of this for years, and am a firm believer in it. I just wish I knew who said it.  “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person”.

If you have any advice on how to further my endeavors, or would like to be a part of my new mission, feel free to contact me via this blog, or at the email address posted above.

Thank You,

Raymond Trower

 

 

 

 

 

Down and Dirty

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By L.E. Hulse

I’m certainly not an economist, but I would think that if the unemployment numbers continue to stay high like they have and the government continues to cut where it can, the homeless population will increase accordingly, as will the demand for any resources that society can provide for the poor. I hope those at the top appreciate the sacrifices the rest of us have been forced to make on their behalf. I know it’s created a lot of stress for a lot of people whose incomes are limited or nonexistent; stress that will over time come around and play out on the streets and in the homeless shelters. On the streets the police are doing what they can to better serve the homeless, but what about the shelters?

Everyone seems to be watching the homeless, but who’s watching the shelters? Are they providing the kind of service they advertise, or is it something entirely different? And what about the people they employ? Are they up to the job? And don’t forget the homeless. Has anyone thought to ask them what they think?

I can tell you what I think. To start with, a lot of shelters work with a one-size-fits-all kind of mindset that is popular with their self-appointed experts, and it’s reinforced with policies that are designed to keep everyone in line. For those with a serious drug or alcohol problem this hard-line approach may provide some temporary support. Beyond that, it’s just more weight for the homeless to lug around, and for anyone with a disability – good luck.

As I understand it, ninety percent of business is management. So for me, the first order of business at a homeless shelter would be to make policies that are in line with the real world. After that, I would hire people who know what they’re doing or are willing to learn, and then stay out of their way. People who will listen and make an honest effort to understand what’s being said, people who know themselves, people who can think outside of the box and know how to bend the rules when it’s necessary. In other words, people who are competent. Unfortunately, when it comes to homeless shelters this is the exception rather than the rule, and it’s really sad because it doesn’t have to be that way.

If you’re serious about changing the way things are done at a homeless shelter, what better place to start then with the board of directors? The board can consist of a real cross-section of people and I must say that I’ve been impressed with the ones I’ve met. But it would be my guess that very few or none of these people have ever experienced homelessness in a direct way (as in being on the streets and homeless) so they probably depend a great deal on management to keep them informed about what is best for those staying at the shelter. That is, unless there are homeless people on the board and to do it right there needs to be at least four. Six would be better and eight would be better still. A wealth of information just waiting to be heard. So at the risk of running out of coffee and maybe a few four-letter words, it could over time prove to be a winning combination.

Who would better know what the homeless want than the homeless themselves? But most homeless people don’t like to write letters, fill out complaint forms, or wait in line to talk to someone unless they know they are going to be heard. And what better place to be heard than in a room full of homeless people? A place where everyone can go to once a month and speak out on issues related to the shelter. They would have two minutes to tell it like they see it and the meeting would be open to anyone that can conduct themselves in a responsible way.

So what do you do with someone that is homeless and has a job, or someone that is trying hard to get one? Someone that doesn’t have a drug or alcohol problem, a government check, or a trust fund? You would think that the shelters would throw open their doors and roll out the carpet. Well, think again. Believe it or not, there are shelters where anyone with a job would have a hard time getting even a little respect. Unless I’ve missed something along the way, most people have to go to work before they can pay rent. When someone with a job is staying at a shelter and they’re playing by the rules, management and staff need to get behind them and give them as much support as they possibly can. To me it’s just common sense.

 

L.E. Hulse is a homeless resident of Santa Barbara, a contributor to this blog, and an all around good guy.